They say that it is better to convey the truth to a person in the form of a joke. Better yet, when a person finds out his situation in a joke. It has been proved more than once that diets only exhaust the body, and do not bring any benefit. So why are you torturing yourself again and again? For you, we have selected some funny quotes about dieting. Laugh heartily! After all, sincere laughter burns calories, right?
Funny quotes about dieting
Appetite grows after the recommendation of a nutritionist to moderate it.
Scientists have figured out the thing that fills people the most. If you abandon it, then the person instantly loses weight. This thing is a refrigerator.
And why are sweets wrapped in such a rustling wrapper? Everyone around you can hear me losing weight.
My diet comes to an end when the computer suddenly freezes up or the Internet shuts down.
I went on a diet, didn’t eat after six, didn’t eat after seven, didn’t eat after eight … But when it was midnight, I could not stand it.
Do not be discouraged if you are terribly drawn to eat in the dark, maybe you are just a priestess of the night!
A diet that instantly raises the mood is to get a packet of kefir, dilute it with a loaf of bread and a piece of boiled milk.
I heard that coal is useful for weight loss … So I think – drink or unload ?!
Funny sayings about dieting
Love raw carrots, low fat cottage cheese, lettuce as yourself and you will comprehend the truth of life.
If you have recovered again by 5kg in a week, then your best friend advised you on this diet.
Calories are germs that make your stomach and ass grow!
The cakes were so light and airy that a couple of extra pounds flew quickly.
Very effective Chinese diet: you can eat anything you want! But only with one stick!
In fact, we all know that our thin version of ourselves is sad when we get fat. But you can please it with a piece of cake!
Who coined the word exercise? Sounds like foul language. Every time I hear this word, I seize stress with a chocolate bar.
The most vicious animal is a girl dieting during menstruation and trying to quit smoking.
Scientists say that the human body grows only up to 25 years. But this probably does not know either the stomach or the priest.
Diet is when I went to the kitchen for an apple, and suddenly gobbled up a patty.
The best diet is when you go to the pharmacy for medicine for weight loss, and before reaching the pharmacy, you accidentally go into the store for sweets.
Any, even the most effective diet, certainly begins only tomorrow.
Short humorous texts about dieting
If you are afraid to get fat, be sure to drink a glass of wine before eating. Alcohol kills a feeling of fear.
They say that in order to quickly lose weight you need to sit on buckwheat. Only I did not understand how many days you need to sit on the bag?
When mom goes on a diet, the whole family will automatically switch to 3 meals a day: Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
A woman goes on a diet in three cases: when a man abandons her, when she turns on a man, and if today is Monday.
To lose weight, you must either sleep with food or eat only in a dream.
Everyone needs their own weight, but not everyone risks weighing so that everyone sees.
The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth. Or watch your meal! But it’s important only to follow, not eat.
I’m losing weight on three diets at once! I don’t eat up on one …
A diet that instantly cheers up – buy cottage cheese, add condensed milk to it, and eat it all with a loaf of bread.
The end of my diet comes during the period when my computer suddenly freezes or the Internet turns off.
Scientists have figured out the thing that makes people fat the most. This thing is a refrigerator.
If you decided to go on a diet, but instead of losing weight, you recovered, then this diet was advised by your best friend.
Bestsellers are usually cookbooks. In second place are books about diets – how not to eat what you just learned to cook.
A hungry person does not want to do anything and think, but a well-fed one cannot.
Some people go on a diet to maintain a slim figure, others – to keep a slim husband.
Loneliness for the mind is the same as a hungry diet for the body: sometimes it is necessary, but should not be too long.
According to the classic diet, you need to eat once a day. But from morning to evening!
The more people monitor their weight, the more nutritionists earn.
To truly lose weight, it is enough to give up three things – breakfast, lunch and dinner.
The best advice for losing weight: put in your mouth whatever you want. The main thing – do not forget to spit.
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