Here you will find plenty of funny quotes about family.
Funny quotes about family
Wife’s salary is her salary! And the husband’s salary is the family’s budget.
A real man must build a house, plant a tree, raise a son, and everything else that his wife will say.
An ideal family is when the husband works and the wife is beautiful.
All people are born free and equal. But then some of them decide to start a family.
My family is strange: dad is talking with his car, mom – with flowers, sister – with cats. Only I am normal – I speak with a computer and a telephone.
If the family has only one child, then he is an egoist. If the family has 5 children, then the egoist in the family is only one, and this is the father.
My husband came home tired, so he had to pay his marital debt with money.
An ideal family charter: as dad said, it’s sure that everything will be in my mother’s style!
Relatives are given to us from above. Thank God that we are able to choose comrades on our own!
Funny sayings about family
Yesterday I realized that the only dignity in the arrival of relatives is a sense of relief and happiness when they leave.
Relatives are a group of people who are going to periodically recount and eat tasty meals on the occasion of a change in their number.
The husband is the one who, simply throwing out the trash, believes that he cleaned almost the entire house.
The less often we see relatives, the more we love and miss them.
Having a husband is wonderful. But what a shame, when you get a bonus to him all his abnormal relatives.
If a man is ready for anything for a woman, then he loves her. If a woman is ready for anything for a man, then she gave birth to him.
If you come from a business trip, and the apartment is cleaned up, the children do their homework, the wife cooks, the mother-in-law knits – they broke your computer!
Women love to feed their men: they will serve a dish, and carefully watch how a man eats. Moreover, the worse they cook, the more carefully they look!
In an ideal family, the wife does not notice where the money comes from, and the husband does not delve into where they go.
Humorous quotes about family
In a family where the wife and daughter have long hair, cat hair is not a problem at all.
In large families, it is necessary to assign not only the honorary title “Mother Heroine”, but also the honorary title “Father-breadwinner”.
In a good marriage, people always teach each other. You teach each other the science of life. Touching daily, you influence each other against your will.
Not for nothing, when people start a family, they put a wedding ring on the finger from which blood is usually taken.
In fact, the main one in the family is the wife. And if a man believes that he is the chief, the wife is also smart.
It is ideal to have common interests in the family: he loves fishing and she loves when he is fishing.
It is better to lose years in search of a worthy partner to create a family than to lose years in a failed marriage.
No matter how big your family may be, today it is your turn to take out the trash.
The strength of the marriage, like cognac, depends on the exposure!
An ideal family is a sports husband, a slender wife and a fat cat. Not when everything is messed up.
The head of the family is not the one who makes money, but the one who spends it.
The dumb family has its advantages: the husband closed his eyes, and the wife screams the way she wants!
The main causes of most stresses and depressions in a person’s life are: family, money, and a family without money.
You are gathering a husband, then a child, then a second child, and then you are trying to quickly assemble yourself, and in the end they tell you that you are going to be the longest.
In family life there are many advantages. But first you need to get used to them.
Matrimony is an art that requires daily updates.
Harmony reigns in a family if she speaks for two, and he is silent for both.
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