Funny quotes about English

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Funny quotes about English

I can’t learn English because there are too few songs from «Future Perfect Continuous» in the world.

In the column “What languages do you know?” the student wrote English, German and the rest, which were written on a bottle of air freshener.

You need to speak English so confidently that all Englishmen and Americans begin to doubt whether they know the same English.

The English that we were taught at school is understood only by those people who studied at our school.

I speak English fluently. It’s a pity no one understands me.

Don’t learn English, or you will be horrified when you find out what your favorite song is about.

In English, there is such a small difference in the pronunciation of the words «dear» and «deer» that English wives are often embarrassed.

My wife and I decided to speak only English on Wednesdays. We don’t talk on Wednesdays now.

In learning English, there is a moment when you already understand the Indians, but the English do not yet.

I know three magic English words with which you can calmly communicate on any topic. These are: «Okay», «Wow» and «Oops» …

I bought an audio course “English for the night”. The result is unexpected: as soon as I hear English, it makes me sleepy.

Recently I was advised to take an English course. Now I’m not fluent, but only with a dictionary.

How rich and varied is the translation of the English language into Russian.

English is an international language. Therefore – every nation has the right to its own English!

Farewell in English – you leave and do not say goodbye. Farewell in Russian – you say goodbye 10 times and still don’t leave.

Migrants must know the language of the country they are visiting! Therefore, high-ranking Russian officials will take a compulsory exam in English.

You need to go to a big goal in small steps. A year ago I decided to study English for 15 minutes a day. And now, after a year, I have 45 minutes of practice.

If the English are native speakers, then the teachers in our schools are carriers. By the way, I had immunity.

The correct motivation of the child: if you don’t learn English, you will stay in this country all your life.

For those who learn English: if a person speaks «excuse me», then he is just going to do nasty things. If he speaks «sorry», then he has already screwed up.

Without knowledge of English, you can live peacefully. However, on the minimum wage.

If you do not know how to translate a phrase from English «I don’t know» then do not be surprised that everyone will answer you “I don’t know”.

I will learn English just because Lennon spoke it.

Paradise is an American salary, an English house, Chinese food, and a Russian wife. Hell is an American wife, English food, a Chinese house, and a Russian salary.

If you eat oatmeal in the morning, it is not at all necessary that you are an English aristocrat. Most likely, you are either a pensioner or a state employee.

In the questionnaire, I always write that I read and translate fluently with a dictionary in English. The only nuance is that many years ago I lost this dictionary.

Based on my perfect knowledge of the English language … I delicately remained silent.

You just have to replace the phrase “I took a liter and a half of beer” with “I took three pints of beer”, and now you are no longer an ordinary drunkard, but an English esthete.


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